Primavera Beach Hotel in Malia

Greeted by very friendly staff on arrival with a cocktail and some info about the area. Shown to room which had three single beds. I asked if we could change to a room with a double bed but was told there were none as this is a “lads holiday” hotel and they don’t want to share a bed. No soap in the bathroom so had to purchase straight away. Hotel falsely advertised free WiFi but we had to pay €75 cash only for this, city tax and to use the fan. The walls are absolutely paper thin and you could almost hear your neighbours brushing their teeth. The door badly needed fixing and had to be practically slammed to close it. The shower was lukewarm at best and absolutely freezing at worst. Hotel also seem to have used a few fake photos of the pool and exterior. I felt I got a bit of attitude after complaining about the cold water. Checkout is 12pm which is fair enough but the hotel has absolutely no facilities to shower or change in privacy which is normally a given. We were told we could shower at the pool and change in the public toilet. I would actually rather change out in the middle of the street rather than set foot in the toilet. We had left our cases in the defunct reception room as instructed but staff walked in on us changing twice despite knowing we were in there. I did think the staff were nice (prior to checkout) but they have no clue how to run a business or basic customer service. The only part I enjoyed about this holiday was when we were away from the hotel. It was not a comfortable or relaxing place to be.

Good location but not much else.
Staff are very nice until there is an issue and an additional charge of €30 per person, per week, per device for wifi, despite being advertised as free is appalling. Another guest said they had to pay to get the air-con remote!
Shared pool with the hotel next door.
No hot water (the shower can get lukewarm at best).
Checkout is at 12 (another €30 to get a later one) despite most flights out of the island being at night. Nowhere to change or wash once you are out of the room even though you will likely be in the sun for hours before going to the airport - we were given the suggestion of using the outdoor shower by the pool and then changing in the public toilet!
No double beds in any room as we were told that it's mostly single friends that go there which is somewhat laughable as we only saw couples during our stay.
Paper thin walls so could hear everything from the rooms around us.
And finally, I am not sure what or where some of the photos online were taken but it's certainly not of this place.
Never again