Hôtel Victoria

I don’t even know where to begin with this disaster of a hotel. If I could give it zero stars, I would.

First, the check-in process took an eternity. The receptionist looked like they had just woken up from a nap and barely acknowledged my existence. When I finally got my key, I took the world’s smelliest staircase up to my room—only to find that the door wouldn’t open. After jiggling the key card for five minutes, it finally worked, and I immediately regretted it.

The room smelled like a combination of mold, cigarette smoke, and something I can only describe as “wet dog.” The carpet had mysterious stains, the bed was as hard as a rock, and I’m pretty sure the pillows were just pillowcases stuffed with old newspapers. The bathroom? Don’t even get me started. The faucet leaked, the shower barely trickled water, and there were actual hairs in the sink that did NOT belong to me.

To top it all off, I barely got any sleep because the walls were paper-thin. I heard every single cough, sneeze, and questionable noise coming from the room next door. And let’s not forget the 3 AM fire alarm that went off for no reason, forcing everyone outside in their pajamas, only for the front desk to shrug and say, “Oops, false alarm.”

Breakfast? Stale bread and cold coffee. Housekeeping? Nonexistent. Staff? Ruder than a DMV employee on a bad day.

Honestly, I would have been more comfortable sleeping in my car. Do yourself a favor—stay literally anywhere else.