Kalima Resort and Villas Khao Lak - SHA EXTRA PLUS

This is not a 5-star.

The rooms are quite nice, although a bit tired in places. The pool directly outside the room was quite a nice idea, although I noticed wet paper fragments floating around, which was a bit offputting. The rooms have a bathroom where you can see through the glass. I never really like this idea. There is a blind, though, so you can get your privacy.

We weren’t wearing our swimming stuff when we arrived, and there appeared to be only 1 bar accessible: a swim-up bar. I thought this was a bit daft. They also have a happy hour, an obscure offer where you buy 2 get 1 free. Who gets the free drink if you are a couple?
This wasn't explained to us by the barman, and he seemed to think we were cheating the system and decided he would embarrass me in front of other guests at the pool when I went and asked for the free drink. He also told me I couldn't have Diet Coke, only Full Sugar Coke in my cocktail. Very odd.

I'm not usually "one of those people”, but I did complain on this occasion to the manager, who ended up being an intermediary between us and the barman rather than just honouring the free drink that probably cost them 20p, and a lengthy discussion ensued. I gave up using their pool bar after this. I think a bit of staff training on how to deal with minor disputes is needed. It didn't need a discussion on basic maths.

For some reason, the electricity went off in our room on the first evening, so we couldn’t get ready to go out in the evening as we couldn’t see ourselves in the mirror. We just left them to fix the issue, which was resolved when we returned.

The furniture on the beach is tired, and the loungers don't have cushions. Everything looks dirty. Yes, you expect it a bit in Thailand, but maybe the resort shouldn’t be considered 5-star.

There are a few too many signs around about what you are allowed to do and what you aren’t, to the point that you feel like you will get charged should you make a mistake. They give you cards for beach towels and state that you’ll be charged for them if you don’t return the cards. However, many of the towels are threadbare and have holes, so we weren’t sure why they were quite so precious about them.

I wouldn't go back. There's plenty more to choose from.