Kalypso Cretan Village Resort & Spa

First room stank badly of mold and was dirty from walls/windowsills etc falling apart). Second room was much better. Food (breakfast) is very poor. Lots of variety, but very cheap, bad quality. Internet lousy. Entire property very dated, neglected, dirty, in bad shape and broken. Pool makes you scared you’ll catch something. Same with lounges. “Beach” is two metal ladders into a narrow sea entry between the cliffs. Oh, and they charge you 7 EUR something tax on top of everything. In all of Greece I’ve never paid that much. Some staff really unfreindly. Definitely not recommended.

We booked through loveholidays and the shuttle bus took us over 3 hours to get to Kalypso from the airport! We landed at 11pm or so and got to the hotel at 4am! We got a shuttle bus half way and a taxi for the rest, I would advise trying to get a private hire car for the transfer there and back. So the hotel! Beautiful location, stunning! They have 3 pools, 3 bars, a tennis court and snorkelling etc. The service: the staff are kind and attentive and they’re very friendly. However I’m surprised you have to request a cleaning service and they come at very odd times of the day so just be mindful of that. Elina on reception is a wonderful person, she’s very attentive and kind and helpful, the staff all around are very welcoming. The rooms: I read before coming that there’s no wifi in the rooms, so we bought unlimited data to watch movies at night in our room or while we get ready however there’s NO SIGNAL at all either. The views of the sea are gorgeous and the rooms are very pretty, they’re vintage looking, the AC is temperamental and you do not get tea and coffee, a kettle or an iron in your room, (you can get a kettle or iron on request but not for your whole stay) these basics you would expect from a 4 star hotel. The rooms could be cleaner however I’ll put this down to coastal erosion maybe? Cleanliness: there were blood stains on the curtains around the bed, men’s hairs behind the tap of the sink, when I asked them to clean my room I think they only made the bed as there was still one of my hairs in the bathtub, they don’t replace your old towels or clean the surfaces or floor from what I can tell, they also do not replace your toilet roll. I ended up just cleaning myself during the rest of my stay and making the bed etc. The location: although it’s scenic and beautiful, it is soooo far away from anything, there’s no food delivery ( I will get to that in more detail) there’s a mini market on site which is expensive and opens at very random times during the day and it is too far for buses and taxis to go so you can only really book excursions and activities with the hotel unless you choose to hire a car (the roads are very narrow and the driving is crazy, so for our own safety we chose not to). Also the service is really bad everywhere. The food: for an all inclusive I am very disappointed, no tea and coffee in the rooms and for breakfast, lunch and dinner there aren’t many options at all, it’s all the same all the time and this is why we were upset that we couldn’t even get a Deliveroo or anything. No halal options and the vegetarian options are not very nice at all unless you’re okay with eating salad for every single meal, they also do not label the veg options or what things are. We spoke to a lot of other guests who ate meat and they didn’t like the food at all either as it was always undercooked. There’s an area called Plakias 10 mins away which is €8 one way which has a lot of different restaurants, bars and taverns. They have