Hotel Colón

1) The check-in took a really long time. The guy doing it also asked if we wanted wifi..! The staff overall were rude, not helpful and clearly not onto it.
2) Breakfast was average, nothing special, sort've like the whole town and vibe actually. Food in Benidorm is bad, period. I got sick, actually because of the poor quality. Eat out at your own risk.
3) The tiny, hot and slow elevator. Terrible.
4) The annoying and loud puppet show downstairs, egged on by screaming toddlers. And until late.
5) For LGBTQ travellers:
- There is nothing gay about Hotel Colon. It markets itself as such but this was not our experience. In fact the whole town markets itself as one huge gay mecca. It is absolutely not the case. Be warned.
- Do not visit Benidorm in July or August (if at all). Gay Pride is in September. The place was inundated with obese, tacky, annoying English and Spanish families. Many gay places are closed for staff holidays in July and August, and there is a petty rivalry between the English / Spanish owned establishments. At best, the small amount of open options were practically empty.
- The only interesting and (not exclusively) gay beach is Playa Raco del Conill (about 10km south of the centre, it says 4km in the guides...!), will cost about €20 each way in a cab and there are no buses / trains.
- Benidorm's scene is mature, unfriendly and not in shape. Ibiza it is definitely not.
- It is unbearably hot. Up to 40C+ most days, compared to many other actual gay destinations in and around the Med'. Made the entire stay immensely uncomfortable.
Would not recommend the hotel or town. Boot.